Monday, September 1, 2008

Getting Free

In the personal realm, there have been serious revelations and facets of my personality emerging of late that can no longer be shackled by overdone self-editing, or fear of being unprepared for any given situation... These are two things that have caused doubt to keep perfectly fly ideas from being acted upon in my world. I've been outspoken, true to myself to a large degree, and the like, but there was a disconnect present that irked me and stood at the edges of my consciousness like an undefinable hurdle that stood between me and a truer more cyclical flow. I've been more closed off than I've wanted to be, without consciously realizing. Many of you can relate I'm sure.

But I've found lately, that the self-censorship and perfectionism is fading, and with it, the types of people I would sometimes attract who would act as lead weights, contributing nothing whilst refusing to move out of my line of sight to the happy lands within, where I was headed. They often told me, I was too detached, and too "business-like", without realizing that maybe... I'm about the business? There's plenty to be done in this world, and I dig that I'd rather do something productive in the stead of engaging in gossip, becoming a couch potato or mimicing whatever similar non-actions that make up the 'American Nightmare' that some call a dream. We're given life so we can fulfill it with purpose, yes?

I've had a problem for some time with needing to be diplomatic and have also felt that if I was very very active and helpful, I'd be making the world a better place. The fact is, I can be active and make the world a better place, but I do not have to contribute energy to those who don't have the same desire for positive energy output. I don't have to waste my time by feeding into anyone's guilt (though trust I've been over that glitch for at least a year or two now for the most part), especially because most of the people who would quickly guilt me into doing something that made them happy, would not be dependable when it was time to reciprocate- and don't get me wrong, I don't believe that doing a solid, means someone owes me, unless I state that I'm looking for reciprocity at the time the favor is negotiated (it's only fair a person knows an action comes with a debt---glasshead syndrome expectations aren't so fair), but the fact is, being the one doing most of the doing, or light shining gets old when you can't do it with a community of light-shiners.

More and more I'm realizing I am only interested in light-shiners at this point and I don't feel guilty about that. I don't feel people have to be 'up' all the time, but I damn sure want to be around people actively putting light, art, and solutions out there. I LOVE people who follow through and I want to know more of that kind of person. I LOVE people who can say what's on their mind even if they know you won't agree with it. I LOVE people who can be assertive, rather than passive-aggressive.
We're all growing, and learning for sure, and no one is perfect but I've grown to the point where I love myself enough to surround myself with people who can and want to become a community of kindred souls that enhance each other, rather than drain each other.

And in this way, with these realizations, I'm free.
I have finally, unequivocally realized that 'what doesn't feel right- ain't right', and I am allowing myself to avoid getting sucked into voids, because I am learning to be receptive to healthy light-shiners in touch with their hearts enough to communicate, and love. As simple as it may sound, it's been a compicated road getting to this point, but it's all been worth finally realizing that self-love isn't selfish in the negative connotation, it's necessary to sanity, and the ability to attract healthy relationships, and communities.

How are you getting free?

Monthly affirmation:
I lovingly release those features in my lifepath that lack reciprocal love energy, and fully embrace the love and light in the world, as I shine it, simply because.

Monthly Totem:

Frog reminds us to cleanse away our sorrow, as tears transform and purify.
They die if they are taken away from the water element for too long. This reminds us to refresh ourselves and allow joy to moisten our hearts and paths. Make sure you dream to avoid feeling unclear. Laugh. Cry. Cleanse your auric field. Frogs are often seen as a symbol of fertility and creative energy. Nourish your creative side.
Be careful not to become inundated with the emotional energy of other people when Frog is passing through as a temporary totem, or if Frog is a permanent totem for you. Learn to recognize when people are draining your energy and cleanse them from your aura. Frogs are high jumpers, jumping 20 times there body weight making them an excellent totem for clearing obstacles. The Gastric Brooding frog can even turn off its own gastric juices and incubate its young in its stomach.
Miracles are natural. They're everywhere. Carry that truth in your heart when doubt rears its head thinking its got something on the reality of hope.

Frogs pre-date much of the Jurassic era, but they have been said to be dwindling. Like bees, they are a key-note species. Reductions of their numbers herald dangers to everyone.

Many thanks SeriousSilver

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